ILLUSION OF THE SELF
Warning
Heavy is the cinderblock of reality on the strawberry tart of our illusions.
Open-mindedness
Attitude of a person showing a tolerance, showing interest, curiosity and understanding for ideas that differ partially or totally.
CHAPTER I
Would you like to know the answer to the question "Who am I?"
Yes, I 'd like, as everyone.
Do you know what to do for it?
I have no idea.
Well, start by observing thoughts.
Where did they come from, these thoughts?
Viewing.
I don't know. I feel they appear spontaneously.
Is it you who create them voluntarily?
No, it's automatic.
Can you stop them as long as you want ?
I can't, they always come back.
If I try to stop thinking, I get a few seconds, no more. I see that thoughts arise depending on the circumstances.
And emotions, are you able to not feel? Can you even stop?
No, that's impossible.
You breathe or breathing happens naturally, without your control?
Breathing is done alone, automatically, most of the time.
Exactly, everything works fine without you.
Your heart beats without you. Your nails grow without you, your hair too.
Blood flows and the muscles contract but you have nothing to do.
You do not even know how it all works.
Look again.
In the evening, do you choose the exact moment you fall asleep ?
No, I can't . I lie down and I'm waiting to fall asleep.
Yet you say, "I fall asleep" as if you were you able to sleep yourself.
And in the morning, is it you who choose to wake up?
Awakening is natural,spontaneous when I slept enough.
I have no control over that.
Returning to thoughts. Can you block their appearance?
This seems possible if I put my attention but it does not last.
Exactly. You say to yourself: "Come on, I stop thinking." You put all your will to get this control and it seems to work. But gradually the attention relaxes, attracted by other things, a sound, a feeling or a memory. And here comes a bunch of thoughts that no one has chosen. So you say to yourself, "Damn, I can't control my thoughts."Spontaneously, they come back. After a minute or after an hour, they come back. No one is there to create them or block them.
Yet I have the feeling of being the thinker of thoughts.
So why don't you always choose beautiful positive thoughts? Have you so little control over what happens to you?
It's
true. I don't fall asleep myself, I do not wake myself, I don't
control breathing or digestion, or the appearance of thoughts. And yet, "I breathe," "I eat", "I think." What is happening exactly when "I think"?
A thought appears, then another, then another. They are linked, naturally, without you. When attention is focused on this activity, the thought "I" is added. Thinking becomes "I think." Thus, all thoughts are for the "I" who thinks them. This is handy, right?
I always seem to be there, to think thoughts. Is this the illusion of the self ?
Yes, it's a powerful illusion, irresistible but also very useful.
Why helpful ?
Because
it offers us an extraordinary thing: Self-consciousness, this sense of
being a unit, remain identical to ourselves despite the passage of time.
The self is a natural process, very important for development and balance the body and mind.
Self-awareness can it go awry ?
Yes, head trauma, depression, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer's disease, dissociative hallucinogen, can cause depersonalization.
The sense of identity then breaks, as if the ego had disappeared.
This disorder of the sense of self gives a feeling of unreality and
strangeness regarding oneself (depersonalization), and sometimes the
surrounding world (derealization).
This state has nothing enviable.
Similarly, schizophrenia can result in the loss of a steady self-awareness, distinct from others. A person with this disorder may sometimes attributed to another his actions, thoughts and even his "inner voice". Again, this state has nothing enviable.
By cons, dispel the illusion of being a fixed me, stable and continuous can be a relief.
I doubt !
Try and see.
Okay, the whole body, muscles to the brain, doesn't need me to run. I
also see that you can't designate a portion of the body, a thought, a
memory, an emotion or any other component of personality and say: " That's it ! I have found, that's me". Everything relates to me but, unfortunately, nothing designates me exclusively.
David Hume, the Scottish philosopher of the eighteenth century made the same observation.
"When
I enter most intimately into what I call myself, I always stumble on a
particular perception of heat and cold, love or hatred, pain or
pleasure. I can never, at any time, myself grab me without a perception, and I never can observe anything but the perception. "
But where am I, then?
Now you are faced with a problem. You look beautiful one who acts, perceives or thinks, you fall on the actions, perceptions and thoughts. So where are you, indeed?Would you still yourself if you lost an arm, a leg or a pint of blood?
Yes, I would still be me.
So
you are neither arms nor legs, nor the skin or hair, or body shape or
voice, and blood or saliva or eyes or teeth or stomach or lungs or heart or neurons.All this changes and renews itself, and you remain the same.How is this possible?
That is the illusion of the self ?
Yes.
The impression of being a person in a body, to own, to say: "My hair", "my thoughts", "my saliva" is thus an illusion?
Yes. Self-awareness is not based on reality but on a construction, on a convention. The most important is not what we are but what we think to be.
Viewing.
Throughout the day, without thinking, you swallow saliva. This is natural. You produce one liter per day. But imagine, if instead of swallowing it, you spit the saliva in a tall glass. Can you drink quietly in the evening?
I don't think so !
Why ? It's the same substance. This is your saliva.So what is the difference?
A border has been crossed.
Yes. What comes out of our body becomes immediately suspect and foreign. We reject this saliva that is no longer part of ourselves.
What we call self and non-self is not fixed. The only thing that does not vary, it is this feeling of being
identical to oneself, to have a fixed me, stable but that is an
illusion.
I understand but I'm not convinced. I can 't be emotions, they pass; or thoughts, they change, or the memories they fade. But I'm the one who speaks, who makes choices !
Consider an example. You choose to buy a sweater.
Whence comes this decision? On the "I" fixed, independent, findable?
It seems to me that this is the result of thoughts. For example, "the sweater is well cut," "The color is nice," "The price is right."
Yes, there is also a pleasant feeling when worn. All this forms the decision to buy it. Only then appears the thought "I decide to buy this sweater." Thus, no "I" fixed at the origin of this decision. Similarly, after purchase, which makes it fun this purchase?
A feeling of contentment appears and it becomes: I'm glad I bought this sweater.
"I" is a sticker placed on each experiment. That there decision, or word choice, "I" always comes after. Look, it's the same for taste."I love tea" simply means that the body likes the taste of tea. And if he does not like the taste of coffee appears the thought "I do not like coffee."
Right. I hate mango, I have no control over that. The organism chooses what it likes or dislikes and spirit claims that someone named "I" chooses.
CHAPITRE II
Now look good.
Is it always the same "I" in the following expressions?
I sweat, I'm angry, I understand, I eat, I remember.
Yes, it's always me! This is the same "I" in all these situations.
How is this possible? These experiences have nothing to do with each other but you, without hesitation, you attributed to the same "I".
What gives you the impression of being a unique and permanent me ?
I have an identifiable body.
Most of our cells die and disappear after a few days, months or years to be replaced by others. Even the shape of the body is not stable, it changes over time, when we move from childhood to adulthood. What else ?
I have personal memories.
You have memories but are you a souvenir ?
No, I'm not a souvenir. All the memories are attached to me, all thoughts too, all the sensations as well. When I burn myself, nobody else feels pain. This is my burn.
Your body, your burn, your mind, your thoughts, your memories, everything refers to you. But you, where you are?
I have the distinct impression of being located in my body. I feel that I occupy my body and I have the conviction to possess and act through it. It's my body, and I control.
This impression, so powerful, so obvious does it not be the tree that hides the forest ?
The tree of "I", always similar to itself, would it not created to hide a varied forest of perceptions, emotions and thoughts ?
Continue to search.
Where do you see yourself in the physical body?
When you say, "It hurts," what does that mean ?
This means that a pain is felt in the body.
Yes, and when you say: "I am sitting" ?
Well, there is the feeling of sitting and thinking "I am sitting" appears.
But how "I" truly independent could have hurt ?
How an "I" distinct from the body could be seated? It is impossible.
So what is this "I" which, in turn, think and sweat, starts talking or running?
Where is he hiding, in the end ? In the spirit ? In the body ?
"I" seems to be not found. Yet I keep the awareness of being there, alive.
Okay, look at this thought: I am aware of being alive. What does-such?
Various information to the brain. For
example, body position in space, the perceived temperature, the
pressure on the skin, muscle fatigue, the sensation of hunger or thirst.
There also always perceived sounds, images seen.Full of physical sensations are perceived continuously. The tongue touches the teeth sensation. Goes hand in hair: another sensation. The fingers scratching thigh once. The stomach gurgles, new feeling of being alive.
While the brain does all this information ?
It unifies behind one banner: I!
Exactly, the brain continuously maintains the illusion of self. It creates the feeling of "I" and in fact the central character of the story. But really, this story happens to anyone. Nothing can prevent the occurrence of sensations, emotions and thoughts. For there is really nobody to do it.
Observe closely.
An emotion appears. Sadness for example.There are sensations in the body: the urge to cry, a lack of energy. Once the focus is on the sensations born thinking "I am sad", then comes judgment: "it is unpleasant."
This labeling system runs continuously.
The fear is there? Hop, buffer "I" fear.
And hunger? Such a buffer "I" hunger.
Ultimately, "I" is a stamp affixed to all internal and external phenomena that affect us.
That is why he is not found!
Yes, "I" designates nothing real.
Where could hide this "I", that fixed entity that seems to control the body and mind? Where is the owner of the body? Where is the thinker of thoughts?
The mind tells stories. At night, these are the dreams. The day is the story of an "I", identical to himself, quietly living in a constantly changing body.
In your opinion, what is the feeling of being an immutable self is called "I"?
It serves to ensure the unity and continuity of the body despite its changes. It unifies all the experiences that occur in the body and mind. At another level, it allows us to live in society and interact with others. Not bad for an illusion!
CHAPTER III
Recognizing that Santa Claus never existed, except in thought, doesn't
change the reality of the fireplace, gifts and children. How do you know that Santa Claus doesn't exist?
Because it was not found.
Nobody has ever seen flying on his sleigh pulled by reindeer.
Because the story is told about him is impossible.
One man can't distribute gifts to all the world's children in one night.
Well, for absence of "I", it is the same. "I "don't exist because it was not found. The story of I fixed, permanent, stable, present in a living body in perpetual transformation since childhood, is an impossible story.
But, perhaps, should it preserve this belief?
Perhaps it is dangerous to try to remove this illusion?
What is an illusion?
This is a misleading appearance, apart from reality.
Here, the lines appear curved when they are straight.
There, the self seems findable, real but it is not.
The illusion is there before us. Impossible not to see the curves.
But what it shows doesn't really exist: There is never any curves.
The illusion is a false perception: perception is there, but it is false.
It's the same thing for the illusion of the ego. Impossible not to have self-awareness. Permanently, the brain creates the illusion of a subject that would be the author of thoughts or witness observing thoughts. Continually, we have the feeling of being an independent agent.
Why this illusion?
Science gives us the answer. Be lived as autonomous person is a guarantee for our survival. Self-consciousness never stops.
The ego is an illusion that appears continually to allow the living
organism to regulate itself, to evolve and survive among others.
Self-consciousness acts as indicator. It reveals to the body some of its states.
It highlights the important phenomena for survival.
Yes, with this capability, the brain knows the real-time system status and shall immediately initiate remedial actions.
"I'm cold" so I cover myself.
"I'm tired" so I rest.
"I'm in danger" so I defend myself.
I can same report these states to others through language.
The ego is the reference to all the contents of consciousness. They make sense only in relation to him. The feeling of being an autonomous self has even an important consequence. The others also are autonomous individuals. So we can hold them accountable for their actions and respect their rights.. We do not consider them as machines.
We must continue to play the game of me, because our sense of justice depends on it. But internally, the illusion dissipated - even if it appears constantly - we can live in accord with reality, without telling a story about a solid and sustainable me.
This "I" doesn't appear alone. It comes with its history, with its desires and fears. All this is based only on this belief: There is an I that directs the body.
So, all the fears, all the desires come from this belief in the existence of an I ?
Of course not. There are desires that are just needs. That's life that leads you to seek pleasure and escape pain. It rewards you when you eat, when you drink, when you sleep or when you're hot.
Some fears are also natural. These are normal reactions to a real danger. They serve to alert and protect us. But how many others are born only of the thought 'I'?
It is their common root.
" I " want to be admired.
" I " m afraid of being judged.
" I " want to please to others.
" I " m the best.
" I " suck
Of course, self-awareness is there, thankfully! But concern for this illusory self may disappear.
But be careful. Don't replace the belief " I am the leader of the body and mind" by another belief as false: "I don't exist at all."
In reality, there is indeed a man, here and now.
He is alive like a bee, bear or fish. He
works, eats, loves, hates, walks and breathes, thinks and feels. he
occupies a space in the universe that no one can take. Its cells are constantly renewed, slowly or quickly, as skin cells or red blood cells. The water of his body renews also.
This man is amazing, he is alive and conscious of existing. A true miracle.
But there is not a fixed me, stable, permanent or immortal.
When the belief in the existence of "I really disappears, it's a relief.
There 's no more carry the weight of the self and its history.
There is no more to be concerned with problems of an " I " that doesn't exist.
Where is the one that takes seriously ?
Disappeared. He never existed. Life becomes more light.
So do you really exist ?
No, I don't exist ... as I think.
Is it accepted ?
Yes, in part. I feel a little sad now.
Why ?
Understand that there is no soul, no I could survive death. It is sad to realize that. "I" is an illusion. Does it continue Santa his life, once dead in the afterlife? This is absurd. Believe that this illusion continues after death would be doubly illusory.
Then, suddenly, you think that human beings do not exist at all?
That nothing really exists?
Yes, I have that impression.
Look at the reality, before believing anything!
Every human being exists, every form of life exists.
You can see them, touch them, talk to them. They exist as much as you.
You can play with your children, you can live with your friends, you can love a woman or man.
It is not enough to see that there is no I, we must also understand what is left.
When you look at a small child, you can say: "This is a beautiful baby" when he is three months old. But will you continue to say: "It's a baby" when he is twenty years old ? No, you'll see a handsome young man.
He has grown, he has changed, he has not always "I", but he will be there, before you, in the flesh, alive.
Would you rather that there is a three month old baby forever?
Would you rather that he never changes?
Viewing.
Life is possible for all living beings,because there is no "I" fixed, unchanging.
When this thought "I don't exist" is presented to the mind, what's happening?
There may be a refusal: "No, that's wrong, it's contrary to what the priests , sacred texts, mediums say. I have a soul and I go to heaven. And even if.. there is nothing after death, this is contrary to what I feel. "
Or anger! "What is this idea that makes a man nothingness. That's nonsense, it's dangerous for youth and hopeless for old age."
Or just sadness: "So there is no life after death."
You know what's really sad ?
Spend his life waiting for a happiness that will come in the afterlife.
What's really sad is to do evil for protect or glorify a self that doesn't exist. Believe himself superior to all animal and plant species because we have a soul or they haven't one.
It's true, understanding the illusion of the self can bring sadness, but it doesn't last. Why ?
Look at this tree.
It has no independent existence: It dissolves in a
network of relationships extending to the entire universe: the rain
falling on the leaves, the wind agitates it, the soil that nourishes and
makes it live, the seasons and the weather, sunlight - it's all part of the
tree.
Whole universe helps make the tree what it is.
It can in no way be isolated from the rest of the world and at every moment, it changes imperceptibly.
But what happens when it dies? Will it go to the heaven of trees? there has a beyond for it ?No, of course.So why give to men what seems impossible to accept for the trees and even animals, knowing what they really are?Are we different from them?
No. Everywhere it is the same mechanisms. Everywhere, the genes are at work to preserve the dynamic balance of the body. Continual inputs of food, water, oxygen and constant outputs, feces, sweat, carbon dioxide. All this, to maintain body balance, homeostasis.
The whole universe helps make man what he is, is not that enough?What does he need? a soul? eternal me?
What is a man?
206 bones, 640 muscles, 100 billion neurons, 100,000 billion cells 200 different types that come to work together. Yet quietly, without any hesitation, for every action of the innumerable cells, we say "I".I eat, I laugh, I breathe, I think, I'm moved.Are we really there, planted atop a mountain of cells, watching them work for us or is it an illusion?
On a life, from childhood to old age, fifty tons of food through us and transforms us. Fifty tons! In 24 hours, we inspire eight thousand liters of air and hundreds of thousands of cells are renewed. And yet at the end of a day, we could say without laughing at anyone
who will listen "Tonight I am the same person as this morning."
How is this possible?
Everything would change, everything would renew, cells with water that
composes me, thoughts of emotions running through me, all except me?
Self-awareness allows something extraordinary.Through it, all interior and exterior phenomena that affect us, no
matter how varied, can be attached to a single entity united under one
banner: "I".
And that's handy. I see, I sing, I understand, I'm moved. Always I, I, I, continually used and that applies to everything. I laugh, I tan, I mean, I digest. This is a convenient word to unify all.
By dint of being called by first name, by dint of saying I, the mind
believes in the existence of an ego, like a genie in a bottle or a
prisoner in his cell.
But can we see in the reality?
When it seeks, this "I" is not found. It is an illusion, a mirage.
Self-perception is continuous, necessary, but it is false. There never was and there never will be fixed me, stable or immortal. The illusion is irresistible but it is not unbreakable.
CHAPTER IV
But since there is no findable me, there is nothing to cling to. It's emptiness, it's terrifying.
Look what happens.
You think this thought: "I do not exist ... so there is nothing at all."
This is false because, again, this is contrary to observation. When disappears the belief in the self, the mind is facing a big void. There seems to be nothing to hold on. Belief in "I" was gone ... and yet you're still here alive. What luck!
Still there, alive and conscious.
That's an incredible thing: Aware to exist.
It is not given to everyone.
Many living beings are not so lucky.
There is this emptiness, this is true, but there is nothing terrifying. It looks like the space around you, which can contain all visible things, precisely because it is empty.
There is the fear of accepting that I don't exist because I'm afraid of disappearing.
I'm afraid I don't exist at all.
But you never existed as you think. There has never been a fixed "me", who can disappear. It is a self-maintained illusion. So, what disappears ?
Nothing except the belief of being "I".
Exactly, nothing can disappear.
Faced with the problem of death, we rush on beliefs, resurrection,
reincarnation, the survival of the soul or of a stream of consciousness
because beliefs make our mind euphoric. But this stable and sustainable core, this soul, this me that survives, can we find it?
No, I see a fragile biological system in perpetual renewal, made up of billions of cells that have for unity just the name. I admire this extraordinary organ, the brain, for its ability to produce a me, ready to claim the power to act and survive beyond the body. But I find no stable core, no "me" sustainable.
Perceive the illusion of self is not a miracle cure. This has never fed anybody. It doesn't give a job, it doesn't wash the clothes, it doesn't make smarter, it doesn't bring wealth, it doesn't eliminate the disease or the pain.
But it release attachment to our little person and ideas that dress. All thoughts focused on this "I", so important before, gradually lose their interest. The mind becomes calmer.
It move on. It stops to wander and to believe anything. It may even turn to the world as it is. The joy of watching and understanding is the greatest gift of nature.
Once the illusion of self is view, what remains ?
All living and the universe, here, before our eyes. 14 billion years, galaxies, bacteria, DNA, number pi, consciousness, light, music, forests and snow.
Perceive the illusion of me, it doesn't prevent to listen to music, to marvel at the world, to enjoy a movie, to engage, create, share, laugh. In fact, it doesn't prevent to live, on the contrary.
Mark Twain said with humor: "I had a lot of problems in my life, most of which never happened! ". His mind was preoccupied and worried until he realized he was never so unhappy he believed, nor so happy as he had hoped.
When the illusion of the ego is really observed, this illusory concern for self disappears. Then we can live and enjoy what makes us happy here and now. There is always beings to love and things to do.
I see the statement "I do not exist" as a cure but would not it be a poison if it is misunderstood?
That is true.
This seems a dangerous path because it can rise to erroneous thoughts:
If "I"don't exist then nothing else matters ...
Life has no meaning ...
When I see someone suffer, there is no one who suffers, it is not so bad ...
But all these thoughts are born from a misunderstanding. The drug has turned into poison because the dose was too strong.
When we look closely, there is no findable me, no "I" anywhere. There never was.
I can't find it because it doesn't exist, either for yourself or for
your family or for your friends or for any living being. Is it safe to understand this?
Yes, unless you go too far, unless we forget that every man is a living
being, sensitive to pleasure and pain, feeling joy and suffering.
Remember.
It is not enough to see that there is no self, we must also understand what is left.
This fixed me, immutable, doesn't exist and never existed.
What remains is a sensitive and conscious being. No less but no more.
There is this: life in motion and consciousness of being alive. A true miracle.
Are we closer to each other if we discovered that there is no fixed me, stable or immortal?
Yes, because we would be in agreement with reality. Some beliefs may no longer divide us. Viewing. What would become religions if there was no one to rescue, no me to convert ?
Them, so multiple, so opposite, so pressed to establish their truth,
so sure of their superiority could no longer advocate the existence of a
fixed me and promise him a life in the afterlife as they all do.
Let's remove them this me. What will be left of his divine mission, his salvation, his penance, his karma, his enlightenment, his heaven or his hell?Who will fight for the Revealed Truth, for the Holy Doctrine, to win a Paradise where he never will?
Thus, we do not exist ... as we believe. We have no independent existence. We are not cut off from the world. We are living so dependent.
Yes, we are dependent on all levels. Viewing bacteria.In our body, there are ten times more bacteria than human cells. 10 to 15 ( Power ) bacteria against 10 to 14 (power) cells. What do they do there, all these bacteria? Are they trying to parasitize us?
Rather, bacteria are essential to maintaining human health. They allow the proper functioning of the body. Those of the digestive system, for instance, are able to break down the carbohydrates that we could not otherwise digest.
There are also in every cell of our body mitochondria. Without them, the cell does not receive the energy they need in the form of ATP (adenosine triphosphate). Mitochondria have their own DNA because, originally, they were
distinct and autonomous unicellular organisms, until one day decided to
swallow a cell mitochondria, and begin to live in harmony with it.
Is a good example of interdependence, but is it the same thing to our level ?
Yes. When there 's no more of "me" to draw attention, the interdependence of
all living beings, men and women included, appears clearly.
No one exists without the other. From birth to old age, in every aspect of our lives, we exist in dependence. We depend on parents who raise us, to human society that welcomes us. Without them, no food, no health care, no education, no culture, no affection.
Above all, we depend entirely on the living world of animals and plants.
There has only the ego to believe otherwise!
We start by saying: I exist, I'm independent!
And we end up thinking: I do not depend on the nature, I am superior to her.
Of course, nature is not perfect. There are mistakes and pain. Animals die so that others may live. However, a balance is created between species.
Children suffer by accident, random genetic mutations. But the child doesn't pay for original sin or bad karma. Because it does no one pays. There 's not an "I" that suffer bad karma or original sin. It's just a child who was born with a disease, which must be cured.
The largest part of our suffering comes not from nature, its earthquakes and its diseases, but directly from us. We have the power to reduce suffering.
Understanding the illusion of the ego can help us. This opens a path through the thoughts and selfish beliefs.In fact, who owns these thoughts and these beliefs ?
Nobody !
Then falls attachment to "me", that it's just a thought.
When "I" continue to appear, but it's no longer taken seriously, does this change have anything?
Yes, internally, there's no more of me on which to pin qualities or defects. What a relief ! The qualities are there, also faults but nothing holds them back. They can evolve, disappear or assert freely. There is no one to hold on to this default then or that quality one. And no one to receive criticism, and even accept praise. The judgments of others, their requirements are arrows that have no target.
What remains there ?
The awareness of being alive and the wonder of being conscious.
So, here is the last question
Friend,
Now,
in this moment,
Who are you?
Initially, heavy is the cinderblock of reality on the strawberry tart of our illusions.
At the end, slight is the bubble of our beliefs in the peaceful sky of reality.
;-)